new year’s resistance

Each New Year I ask God for a word to have for the coming 12 months and it is so interesting that as I look back, the words that I’ve had have been the exact opposite in what has either been ‘manifested’ or even come anywhere close to the word. I’m not sure if this is pure attack, or if the word has produced but in a different format to what I expected, or if it is even deeper still and was just given in seed form
in the at year that will produce over different time periods..

This year (and we’re only 4 days in at the time of writing this!), my ‘word’ has almost tormented me and kept me awake at night and it has been SO crazily difficult to fix my mind and position to align with God. 

As I’m trying to organise my thoughts, I find it interesting to think that as soon as we move into an assertive stance or position to grow or expand, the resistance increases massively! When our intention is set then it seems that everything within us goes into revolt and wants to then start taking away the little ground that we had!

To engage in growth we must be so aware that we have a real enemy that is against us- the devil and all his demons- as well as our own flesh and comfort zone (or even pain zone- whatever is most usual and accepted as our normal). When we go from passive to assertive, we will always find that the path of least resistance is trying to lead us right back to where we are trying to move on from!

Let us not become discouraged or fatigued as we move forward and let us fix our eyes on the goal. If things don’t look like what we expected then that’s fine- as long as we are investing our all into what we believe we need to be doing, everything else is out of our control.

the pain of being untangled from lies and deception

If we personally value truth and honesty, we don’t want to have lies as part of our
relationships, situations or any part of our lives. But when we ask God to reveal and expose the lies in our lives- of ourselves and of those around us- it is amazing how painful and heart wrenching it can be.

I have recently come out of a situation where I didn’t know what was truth and what wasn’t and after so much pleading and seeking God about it all, when I was actually shown (and continue to be shown), it is so deeply painful that I have to make sure that I stay so close to God who is the only One able to counsel my heart that deeply.

This has shown me how staying ‘in the dark’ and ignorance can actually be more
comfortable than knowing the truth, which says a lot considering how much pain the insecurity of not knowing truth can cause to the mind, spirit, soul and relationships.

During this process it has been so painful and emotions such as anger, resentment,
pure guttedness, brokenness etc have got to be worked through so that they don’t stick around in my heart. The process to build is so much longer and energy consuming than the act of destroying. It takes only moments to trash a room but so much longer and more effort to get it back right again. And this is even more so with a human heart and spirit.

But one thing that I am grateful for is that God is with us and faithful and true and He would prefer me to go through this pain into freedom and value, rather than stay in a place that is confusing, upsetting, mentally all over the place and just slowly heart tearing. I love that He is unafraid of emotion and pain, and is with us through it all to bring us into freedom and truth more and more. He does not want us to settle for mental mind games and pain, or compromise value. He absolutely values each and every one of us and wants us to be fully unbound.

So I would really love to encourage you that if you desire truth, please do not go back to the comfort of deception when it gets painful and hard going. Keep moving towards full truth where you will find full value. To be healed is a painful process but one that we have a personal responsibility to take. If we don’t and we ignore symptoms of deception, then we will not only stay in low (or high) level pain, but we won’t be able to pave the way for those coming our way and who need help and guidance.

There is a song line that says “if you tolerate this, then your children will be next”. And this is so true. Let us take full responsibility to cut off everything that ties us so that we won’t end up being bound and impact for the worse whoever the ‘children’ are that we are raising.

“did God really say?”

In the garden of Eden, we don’t know how much time passed from when God told Adam and Eve not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Maybe they were told and so much time passed that the warning became dilute through time passing and so it was easy for the devil to come and ask…”did He really say…?”

And it is still like this today. We can have a word from God, but as the time passes, the conviction can start to wane and waver, and what was once a statement has
now become a question.

How quickly our resolve can recede as we become further from the initial instruction and command. At the start, we can be so strong and convicted, and yet as time passes, the strength and conviction will become dilute. This calls for the act of will and continuous submission and obedience to God and His
Truth and what He has said- whether we feel like it, believe it, or even desire it..

We have to obey the instruction that God gives because through time there will
be different seasons of conviction to not bothered, from disappointment to unbelief…

I believe God uses this time to mature us and to show us our true state of faith. Will we still trust and obey Him even when the voice has become faint? Will we
still agree with Him, or let circumstance or natural vision and feelings dictate? As our trusty prayer partners start to drop away, will we stay faithful to God or
leave our position and follow our brother or sister..?

Let us never be afraid to wrestle with God and the honest questions we have. God knows exactly what we have within us- faith, doubt, trust, independence…we
are the ones that don’t know what is hidden and lurking in our depths (or even shallows).

Let us always wrestle, but wrestle into blessing and not away from it.