There are people who claim to love others, and yet become so jealous. They confess that seeing their “loved” ones talking with other men (or women) makes them feel angry- even when it is part of their job. They may also try to then in turn make the partner jealous by playing games and flirting with other women (or men)!
They believe that this shows their deep feelings for the other.
This is not love. Nor is it healthy for either person.
In this world, there are many cultures where ‘love’ is expressed and felt very differently. But there is One True expression and this is the strongest and most secure love ever. It does not use witchcraft to get what it wants (control, manipulation) nor is it weak, hidden or passive.
Love is costly but it is not dangerous.
Let us get to know Love so that we can know what isn’t.
He wants us to have life in all fullness so He is not afraid to challenge our unforgiveness, bitterness, anger, selfishness, pride… but in a world where challenging someone is seen as not loving them and as hate-speech, this is now totally twisted.
If someone you love is planning on slowly dying would you really be loving them by agreeing that “that is what they want so I’ll respect that”? Is love truly that insincere and weak, feeble and pathetic??
Does love really look like agreeing with something that sees people binge on selfishness and be totally consumed by self?
Doesn’t love look more like being kind when we totally disagree? Or staying friends and respecting people while having opposite ideas in life?
Love shows itself best in hard times. In times where we have to make decisions.. to lovingly call out the crap we see in each other as well as the gold.. To stay faithful to our word when we want to run, to be committed and fully respecting to our spouse when they are not as ‘exciting’ as so and so..
Love is absolutely resolute. It is not weak or flimsy. It is strong and painful. It is patient and faithful. It is being honest when that will create pain instead of a fleeting pleasure.
Let us never make the mistake that agreement equals love. It absolutely does not.
Love is self-sacrificial, truth, challenging, patient, kind, compassionate, painful, persevering, clear, uncompromising with death, faithful.
Through life will will go through many seasons, trials, celebrations, etc. And through everything we will be be told various information, given this or that advice, have our own feelings in the mix, and have circumstances and situations try and dictate to us.
We will be told who we are by parents, friends, enemies, culture, ourselves, relatives, community.. But we are not what ‘they’, or our own selves, tell us we are- we are who God says we are.
We need to hear what God is saying and not what circumstance is saying; we need to hear His heart, and not just what we are feeling about a situation.
To know God, we need to spend time with Him. We need to read His Word. And to develop a relationship with Him, we need to agree with Him. This is a lot more difficult than it reads. It means that everything must come under His authority and be submitted to Him; our feelings, our own logic and reasonings, our circumstances and our own desires for what we want in life.
Now this may sound like I am trying to empty myself of me and become robotic, but it is actually the opposite. If God created me and loves me, then He wants me to be the highest version of myself and not crammed under the limits of the mind, or circumstance, or feelings. He desires that I live so largely that He is glorified and I am fulfilled to the highest degree of walking in the very presence of the Lord God Almighty!
What He says must have the highest authority in our lives. If He says that we are loved, we must believe this and not allow people or feelings to speak a different version. If He says we can do this or that, then we must believe Him and go for it. If He says we are to build for something not yet seen (like Noah) we must obey. If He says that we must go and see the known terrorist to tell him about Jesus (Ananias), then we must go. If He says He has this or that destiny for us, then we must agree with Him, even when it looks beyond impossible (Joseph, King David).
His Word is Truth and we are to agree with Him, and align our truth to His Truth.
We need to know God for ourselves. Every relationship is different from others.. My relationship with my brother is different to my sister’s relationship with him. With different people, we have different relationships- we have some friends who are listeners to us, but to others we are the listeners to them..and so on.
We need to know God for ourselves, and not the God of our best friend, or mum or uncle.. God has a different style of relating and talking to each and every one of us, and we all need to share what and how we know Him. This will cause richness and authenticity within the people of God. God is not a one size fitting all. He is into unique and honest connection.
Because of this, we may often be misunderstood and misfit etc. This is fine. You don’t need to defend or explain yourself. God and time will be your defender.
We need to know God for ourselves because we need to know what He is saying to us. His plan for us will be different from His plan for the next person. This is found by reading His Word. We can also see how others related to Him throughout their lives and assignments, and the impact this had on those around them.
He knows how He created you- how your perfect design was formed, and for what destiny.. Although the enemy may twist and pervert this before Jesus becomes our Master, God is able to redeem and use EVERYTHING for our good and His glory.
Religion is one size fits all and so some people will always be able to wear it better than others. But God has a style that He wants to show off through every one of us. It looks different from anyone else and is precious to Him- just like how He gave us unique DNA, fingerprints, looks, giftings..
Culture wants to make us all look like this person or like that person… but supermodel Cindy Crawford herself said that even she “doesn’t look like Cindy Crawford when she wakes up!”. God wants us to looks like Him– through the design that He has individually given us- therefore unique to anyone else.
There are no shortcuts to relationships, it is only through time. The more time, the more you’ll get to know each other- with people and God.
God can speak to you through everything and anything. He is not just in church. He is everywhere. Don’t limit your communication with God to be in ‘church places’. God will use non-believers, songs, creation, people, situations, anything to communicate and He is always speaking.
In the western culture we seem to be potted in all these single pots which stunts and limits growth and connection.
And if we as people are like this, then what we are building will also have this culture, which includes the church. We can see this in most towns and cities- each church is potted and has its own pot with its own roots and disconnection.
But this isn’t how we have been designed- as people, as church, as community. We were designed to grow and be connected and be strong and have roots that are not shallow and limited but intertwined and deep.
If we see the difference between planted and potted plants, there is such a difference in strength, stature, connection and benefit. And yet as humans (in the west) we seem to desire to stay potted and disconnected and therefore fall short of so many benefits of life and growth.
We want the easy maintenance than the harder work. But in actual fact, when we grow wild and free we are less bothered with perfection and more able to enjoy beauty of life’s fullness.
We can also see that when we are planted then we can grow naturally rather than in containment and confinement. We will reproduce without even the intention as that is the design, whereas in pots, seeds drop and are blown away or taken and potted elsewhere in other pots..
This is so parallel to how we live and we think that we are advancing, whereas we have so much mental health pain, isolation, stunted growth in lives, relationship brokenness, etc..
Let’s take ourselves from the picture perfect pottedness and get ourselves planted in the wide open spaces. Let us live larger and beyond ourselves and interconnect our roots with others so that we can become stronger together.
After watching Jesus Revolution, it showed the same conversations that every generation must have- “this next generation is too far gone..” etc etc.. It seems that every generation after the one before is “a lost cause” but isn’t this where Jesus does His best work?
I also thought it was so interesting that the culture of each generation will make it very clear about where the spiritual attack is taking place.
In the hippy days it was all about truth and love. This signified that this is what the people of that generation were desperate for. And what is Jesus? Truth and Love!
So then if we are to apply this culture intel today, we have so many who have confusion and turmoil about identity, and so what is it that is spiritually lacking? People knowing who they are; who they have been created to be and designed to become.
It is so interestingly sad that every generation is desperate for something that only God can provide. And He is desperate to provide for all our needs- truth, love, identity, sexuality, purpose. He is The Way and there is none besides Him.
Instead of us judging and condemning others, let’s hear what they are crying for and direct them to the One who is the answer, the solution, the reason, and the purpose.
ponderments 