when the apple has been eaten

If you have ‘eaten’ of the apple that has been given to you from the enemy, then please do not bolt and bail.

When we have compromised ourselves and feel utterly foolish and like we shouldn’t show our dirty faces to God; this is when we need Him the most.

How can we think that we are able to come into Him presence when we are “doing great”?! When our best is like filthy rags to Him?! He knows us completely and desires that we come to Him during these times of need and has said that we can approach Him with boldness and confidence! This is so counter-cultural to our humanity that wants to shrink back in shame during these times of need, but God has given us access to Him through Jesus. How amazing is this powerful grace and position?!

Let us pray that we have friends (and are friends to others) who will remind each other of this amazing truth.

Don’t run!

Stay, even when it feels uncomfortable and dishonest. It will not be ‘more honest’ to be away from God. He wants all of us- our good, our bad, and our ugly. He is more than aware of the reality of who we are, our situation, and our heart. Do not run from the only One who is so for you, and the only One who can help you.

love makes the tough decisions

As I read the Word of God, and also Watchman Nee’s ‘The Spiritual Man’, it is so strongly clear that love is hardly anything to do with feelings and so much more
to do with decisions and the will of man.

We see that Jesus sweated blood as He prayed for the cup to be taken from Him. This shows that the greatest act of Love- Jesus laying His life down and dying a criminals death- was not out of “feeling good” about how gorgeous humanity was; but that He prayed, “yet not My will, but Yours be done”… and submitted Himself wholly to the Father’s plan- a plan in which love was the most painful choice and decision to make.

How many of us (especially in the west) believe that love is more to do with happiness, feelings, emotion…, rather than tough decisions, painful commitment,
faithfulness that hurts, lifestyle that costs..

If we are true followers of Christ then love will cost us everything and be (very likely) painful in the process. It will be mocked, laughed at, cause offence, and cost us more than we desire to pay… which is where our will needs to come into the submission of our lives not being our own.

Maybe that is why marriage is so weak and broken- because we are all looking for something (or someone) to serve us, rather than living with our lives laid
down for others, and ultimately God.

Love has very little to do with feelings and we would benefit to remember this especially when we have decisions to make, or when there are people who are vying to get our attention and affection outside of the boundaries of love. 

Love can also seem to repel those around us who are wanting yes-men instead of honest friendship and relationship.. 

Keep love bold, alert, and ready to engage.

love makes us bold

When we have a greater sense beyond self- and love is the greatest example of this- then we can become bold, even if we are naturally timid.

When we love someone or something then we can find confidence to stand up when we would otherwise shrink back. This is amazing to me. I find that when we live beyond ourselves then we have access to an overriding of our normal preferences, and this then enlarges our lives, capacity, mind and heart.

“what if…” to “even if…”

Esther, and the Hebrew boys in the book of Daniel were very clear in their conviction and position that God is the One that they worship over any other and that He is the One to fear beyond any man. This conviction brought them to a place where it meant that their action, or inaction meant that they could perish or were put to death by fire.

This shows us incredible examples of what a life laid down unto death looks like. And this is inspiring and what we would desire (as followers of Christ).

But how about the small decisions in life. How about instead of desiring the bigger gestures, that we begin where we are.. 

I have been thinking that maybe our resolve may not look like “even if I perish..”, but it could look like “even if… I look like a fool.. I will contend for the promise that God has given me”, or “even if… this person does not get healed right here and now, I will pray for them with faith that God is Jehovah Rapha- the One who heals”, it may look like “even if… I am rejected, I will share with those I love that Jesus is their Creator God who loves them”.

We are sometimes fooled into thinking that it is the big gestures that are fancy and meaningful, but actually it is the small and consistent choices that build a whole person and speak louder.

Perhaps we can die for Jesus, but can we die daily for Him? Can we take the small risks of faith that make up steps towards a greater understanding of who He is?

This is the challenge of a life of faith in Jesus Christ; do we believe in Him fully, and will we take risks “even if…”?

Let us not be people who think, “what if… He doesn’t show, I have it wrong, they may hate me, I may look like a total nutcase…” and be people who speak that “even if……”. 

Let us take the small risks/opportunities/decisions that builds a big faith.

Esther didn’t perish at the sword of the king but ended up seeing a total 180 degree turn of events. The Hebrew boys were put in the fire but came out of it! Unharmed and with their king seeing that there was another One with them! This also caused a 180 degree turn around!

Whether we perish or not, or look like fools or not, let us live for the Audience of One.

the now but not yet

Having vision is great, but what about if you have a vision so great that that is all you can see, and it covers over the actual reality of now? 

There is some prophetic vision that can be so strong but if we reel back to the natural, it is totally different and can taunt us as “hopeless”.

This is such a time of tension between the now and not yet. 

This is where we have to believe by faith, even though our natural self mocks us and the “reality” taunts us, and even possibly our faithful friends can warn us against such vision so that we “don’t end up gutted”..

This is where we need to ensure that God becomes our Company more than any other, even more than our own selves.

Faith does not make sense, or as in the hillsong song; faith makes a fool of what makes sense.

Hebrews 11.6 says that without faith we can’t please God. So let’s be full of faith in the face of impossible, madness, mockery, etc.. and even if we are wrong, the wrestle has got us into the arms of our Great God.

choose your pain

We all go through fire (pain, hurt, devastation, heartbreak, etc) in life. Not one of us is excluded from this. But which fire are we in?

A recent “fire” has made me wish I had chosen another way. A way that would have avoided this pain. But as I was thinking about the different ways, they all would have actually caused more pain, and deeper deep, than what I was going through. The only difference is that it may have taken a little bit longer to come to pass.. or maybe even not.

Sometimes when we try to avoid one that is good for us (fire is NEVER a chosen place!), we will get another one that is perhaps not as good; that destroys instead of refines.

As I thought about this, I remembered how the Hebrew boys were in fire- hotter than even the usual temperature- and this was the place where they became unbound and free from all restraints (ropes they were bound with which were a physical representation of the restraints that they were to worship Nebuchadnezzar over the Lord God Almighty).

The fire that we end up in due to following God and making choices to choose Him before all others is still fire. The difference is that God is with us. Fire that is not with God- this destroys everything and is all consuming- this doesn’t refine and break us free, but breaks us down and out.

We all have the power of choice.

Choose your pain. Choose your fire. With God. Or without Him.

softness produces boldness

I have started a new job where my new colleagues are very kind and thoughtful and I am not used to this! They are very personable and interested in people and have time to talk and listen to others.

My old job needed very strong boundaries (which was very necessary for that type of work) and was so busy that there wasn’t time to talk. I loved the work of my last job but the culture of the organisation was so toxic that even now I am seeing just how toxic it was from coming away from there.

This new job is not as intense as the people we are dealing with are totally different. Previously I’ve needed to be bold to assert boundaries for myself and others, but I’ve realised that this was from needing to be alert and “on” constantly which can start to drain if you have no income of healthy co-working support.

In this new job, with the kindness of others and them showing such interest in others, I’ve found myself being bold in a new way- of being kind to others and not worrying about rejection, or time “being wasted” when people share for longer than ‘there is time for’. I have found that boldness to be engaged in humanity is from softness rather than alertness and “strength”. It has surprised me so much and I am so grateful for this new opportunity to be able to learn from those who are such amazing examples.

I now believe that boldness comes from being able to see others through kindness, rather than the strength we believe is within ourselves. Very little will come from looking at ourselves!

This is my new journey. May God continue to put people in our lives to be examples of His kindness.